What is This?

Sidney First's journey toward understanding the heart of God for trafficked children and women.

Random Thoughts

⊆ 7:32 AM by Todd M | ˜ 2 comments »

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." (Colossians 4:2-6, NIV)

I wrote some about it yesterday but I think that, as we return to our "normal" lives, all of us who spent last week in Tijuana studying the human trafficking issue will be dealing with a couple of the same things.

First is what role is God calling us to in all of this? The other thing I think we will be dealing with is guilt -- who are we that we should live lives so far different from the others we saw involved in ministering to the various situations in Tijuana? I have really been struggling with that this weekend. Immediately upon my return from Tijuana, I was able to get away for a nice weekend with my family. Unfortunately, that is not so easy for ministry folks in Tijuana who often find that, if they're not there, their ministry is disrupted.

Lots of thoughts go through my head ...

To whom much is given, much is expected.

God blesses those who serve Him well.

It takes all types to make up the unified Body.

God holds us and brings us to the points from where He expects us to do ministry.

God has gifted us all individually.

But, as I think about these things, it is hard to distinguish thoughts pertaining to them that are truly of God from thoughts that are just my own sinful nature trying to justify where I am at and what I am doing. If you look at any of my thoughts, you can clearly see not only a spiritual slant but a selfish slant as well.

Of course, the guilt that wracks me since the trip pertains to my question of "Why should I be so blessed?" But what I am referring to with that are what we perceive as "blessings" according to man's view. As we saw last week in Tijuana, those who are truly living 100% out of that spot where they have given it all up and God is the only thing sustaining them ... well, they have a much different view of what "blessings" really are.

Yes, I am much blessed in the eyes of man but maybe they are entirely different kinds of blessings that God offers us. The things that, in man's eyes are "blessings" actually may be curses in God's eyes, evil things designed to distract us and pull us off task to accomplish His work. While I look at folks doing ministry in Tijuana and feel they are trapped in horrible situations, perhaps it is actually I who am the trapped one -- trapped by the things of man that keep me from living the life God intended.

I like the Colossians 4 scripture above because I do believe that God opens doors for us to do ministry from wherever we're at. We need to always be prepared to separate ourselves from wherever we're at in life and do that ministry.

From a personal standpoint, as I continue to reflect on my time in Tijuana, there is one recurring theme which keeps coming to me and that is that the current situation in Tijuana is a story which must be told. We cannot be a body united for common cause there until the story is out -- until God has reached those He is calling to this area of the world and to these issues with a common message and common information that has left them burdened and equipped to act.

For now, though, as in Colossians 4:2, I think the key is in devoting ourselves to prayer, remaining watchful ... and thankful .. and wondering what "blessings" really are ... what "blessings" are actually things we need to escape.

2 Responses to Random Thoughts

  1. D.Gildner Says:
    Great reflections todd. As you know, I can completely relate and I love the prayer that you included as I agree that our posture during this time of purging and questioning is what God is looking for from us.

    Will we seek His face in the middle of our pain?
  2. Marilyn Says:
    Wow, Todd! You just put into words what I've been wondering for years. I really think God is going to call Ken and me to missions work someday, but I don't think it's quite the time yet. God first started speaking to me about doing missions work twenty years ago, so I've had lots of time to ponder why I'm not doing it yet. While in college, I wondered why God would be calling me to go into engineering. After I saw that I would probably not be supplying safe water to third world villages, I figured that I was called to that career because financial giving was my spiritual gift. (Whatever the reason, I got a really cute husband out of it) Then I was called to be a stay at home mom, not bringing in any finances to give.
    My family moving far away would be devastating to my parents. Maybe God will allow us to raise our children before (if ever) He calls us to move.

    The human trafficking situation (anywhere) just eats at me. China has also been on my heart for a long time. I could see God putting the two together as a plan for us. When I was in an orphanage in China three years ago, it was full of babies. The only older children were the ones who’s parents had died, or who had relatives they visit occasionally. When I asked where all the two year olds and over were, I was told that they go to live with foster families when they turn two. I have a hard time believing the Chinese govt. allows families to have foster children, when they won’t allow them to have more than one child of their own.

    With God’s help, I also am watchful and prayerful. And in being so, I better see what God has planned for me where I am now. It’s so comforting to know the future is in God’s hands, and that He will work all the details together for His glory – even when I don’t understand how!
    Thanks for sharing your reflections!


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